Nerves about lesbian night at a bar due to appearance
I’m getting settled into a new city. I’m super introverted, but I’m trying to do new things. There’s a gay bar I’d like to go to at some point, and once a month they have a lesbian night. Unless someone comes up to me first, I really just want to sit there to be around people.
Now, I’m in the process of detransitioning, after 4ish years on T. I just went off T recently so not much has changed yet, I still look like a dude to most strangers. I did get they/them’d recently, and I think(?) people are actually a bit hesitant when it comes to gender around me, but they settle for man most times in the end. I can manage a pretty androgynous voice, but it still dips at times, which I think is a big factor. I still need to practice more.
So I guess… for any transmasc butches especially, would that be weird of me to go? This is probably a really dumb question and I’m way overthinking it. I’m not familiar with queer bars at all and if dudes just show up on lesbian nights anyways. But I also don’t wanna be mistaken as a dude just showing up. Is it usually pretty welcoming? I’m sure that depends on the place but I’d say I’m somewhere quite progressive.
I don’t know how to do things sorry for the dumb question. I always worry I’m gonna make people uncomfortable or something, which probably isn’t a great mindset.
Posted Dec 1, 2025, 8:20 PM UTC