I know labels aren't for everyone, but fuck I need labels (may be sexually explicit)

So I was AMAB, and over the course of my time knowing I was queer have adopted a variety of labels in an attempt to more easily describe what I am to other people. I am not really sure which terms really fit my gender identity or my sexuality, because there are so many little pieces and caveats for all these different parts of me and I want to be able to figure them out before I move out of my parent's house and am able to live as I please.

For my gender, I currently just use the term demiboy, even though I kind of hate it (it's just kind of cringe). I go by any pronouns, I present fem, and in past relationships have always thought of myself (and at the jesting of my friends) as my partner's girlfriend. I don't think of myself as a girl, however, and definitely do not view myself as a boy. At the same time, though, I like the idea as being thought of as "gay" when in a relationship with someone masc-presenting and "lesbian" when in a relationship with someone fem/enby-presenting, regardless of anatomy/identity.

This is also the part where my gender and sexuality labels begin to blur a little, but try to bear with me. Despite having been in past relationships with an AMAB enby and a girl, and liking the labels of "gay" and/or "lesbian," I don't really like being referred to as bi/pansexual. To make matters even more complicated, I also have reason to believe I'm ace-spec to some capacity. I'm not really attracted to people whatsoever until they show some form of interest in me, but once they do, it's not really a relationship I'm looking for, just a desire to sleep with them (idk how to ethically phrase this as a minor). At the same time, I WANT to have a romantic relationship, I just don't want it happening with those people, for whatever fucking reason. And despite all of this applying to anyone of the gender graph/spectrum/continuum, I feel like I would, in theory, far prefer a partner with a penis than anything else (I'm sorry if this is breaking rules).

And to top it all off, I have no clue why I even need the labels. I just feel the need to be able to DEFINE what I am, if that makes sense. If you read the whole thing, thank you, I'm sorry for cursing your eyes with my weird problems. If you have terms that maybe, just, like, get a general scope of what the shit above here is on about, that would be great. So long and good night.