my life is a total FUCK

im going to fail every one of my college classes, my whole family is disappointed in me and my mom said i should commit suicide so i take the financial burden off of her, ill never have love or any friends because of my stupid fucking autism and i cant even tie a noose right just like i cant even tie my shoes, and my dick is too small because of some fucking genetic disorder which also affects my voice so i wont ever be able to find love HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. give me one valid reason i shouldnt blow my head off right now