Don’t go back to them…or maybe do

I went back after a promise he had changed and worked on himself, unfortunately he went right back to the same habits and discarded me again. But, this time I finally identified the pattern and will never let that happen again.

We were stuck in a classic avoidant cycle, intense beginning, him slowly backing away, me trying to figure out what went wrong, then he disappeared.

I had to go through the pain not once, but twice to realize what was happening.

To be honest, I didn’t know about attachment theory until about 6 months ago when I was trying to piece together what had happened. Why the man who promised me a future and unconditional love had vanished, again.

I have secure attachment, though will say I leaned anxious when in a relationship with the man I am assuming is DA. Who wouldn’t have anxious tendencies when someone who claims they love you shows it one day, then ghosts for a week the next?

Even after he chased me (again), told me he had done the work, was absolutely perfect for 3 months, he still ended up destroying the relationship for a second time.

You don’t deserve your partner leaving the house or going to bed when you’re upset and crying. You don’t deserve last minute cancelled plans. You don’t deserve feeling alone in a room with someone else. You don’t deserve a lack of communication, other than surface level small talk. You deserve someone who can show up and be a PARTNER, not someone who expects you to be a “perfect” partner with no reciprocity.

I see a lot of posts asking if they will come back. Please know, it’s not worth it. I gave it a second chance and ended up right back where I was before.

Believe that you deserve more than they could ever give you, and never look back.