Why is literally NO girl interested in me? Why is being ugly such a pain? M19

I'm 19, I'm ugly (underbite + big-ish nose + weird smile + 5'8 + bad posture + slight gynecomastia and puffy nipples + dad bod), I'm a "weird kid", I have eye issues and let's just say I don't care much about my style clothes etc.

I know about this. BUT how is it possible that literally no girl was EVER interested in me

I had girl friends, I still do, I'm not a involuntary celibate (well TECHNICALLY I suppose I am but I'm not mysogine) and I don't hate women but sometimes I wonder if to women I'm just a walking monster?

I never was one of those guys who wanted perfect girls with no fat, perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body

I never really cared, the times I actually liked a girl it was never about their looks but about their personalities so im not like those ones who say "why don't I have a gf" and they reject girls they don't like because they actually mean "why don't I have a hot gf"

I'm not like that, I hate those and look, I don't think women owe me a relationship, a relationship is two people loving each other and it's ok but I just feel unlovable at this point

I hate myself so much and my face mostly

I just want someone to look at me and smile with love, someone to hold me, someone who lets me cry on her shoulder, someone who kisses me enjoying it.

And the worst part is that every guy I know (except maybe my best friend and another guy) has a relationship and also had thousand other relationships and i haven't even gave my first kiss at 19

I'll turn 20 in April and I'll be still like this because I know this won't change

I tried gym but it's difficult, I tried going on a diet but as long as I have this fucking face with uneven eyes big nose and everything who will ever love me?

Few people told me I'm not that ugly and also girls but they always say "you're not ugly but you're not my type" or "I wouldn't date you" or "you're cute but not dating-cute"

This is so painful, I just want love I want to give my first kiss

I am also a virgin of course but I am more sad about the kiss than sex because sex doesn't mean love while a kiss almost all the times means someone loves you

I tried all dating apps Tinder, Boo, Wizz, Hinge, Bumble

Every single one of them and I always got 0 likes except for bots or for girls who added me by mistake and deleted the match and/or ghosted me

And I added practically everyone in my age range 18-34