Self preservation

Sometimes I ask myself why I feel so useless. I get the feeling something is holding me back from making the most of who I am. Does anyone else feel scared to really discover who they are? I think for me personally, it's just gotten to the point it's ruining relationships and maybe some of the best oppurtunities in my whole life. Maybe the person I actually am only wishes these oppurtunities were possible, while my inevitable future is being an actual bad person. I've tried so much. Medicine, therapy, sobriety.. sometimes it seems like trying to be a "good person" is what makes me useless.. or bad.

I don't want to be a bad person, but sometimes it doesn't even feel like my life to live. Help, please.