My complete story

For some context, I’m currently 15 and I am in a very healthy mindset! I do have problems with body image still, but it’s gotten much better! I’m here to hopefully spread awareness and maybe help people.

Around the time I was 12 I got a friend request from someone on discord, I accepted it and we started talking. They told me to send inappropriate pictures of myself or else they would “kick my doors down” it made me a little scared but I still didn’t send anything. Randomly they sent me a link and foolishly I clicked it. They sent me a message with my iPhone details, address, full name, phone number, emails, etc. I was horrified. They loved bombed me and then would degrade me, saying things like “You’re just a piece of meat” “you’re worthless” “confused” “slave” “fat whore” etc. it got to the point where I believed I was in love with this person, that feeling I got from the love bombing was what I wanted. In a way, i was like a dog. Whenever I didn’t want to send him pictures of myself he would threaten me and my family, degrade me… then he would love bomb me to make me forgive him and fall deep back into the cycle. One day he invited me into his server where I found a lot of illegal content. Baby’s, other children, animals, non consenting adults, heavily drugged women. Eventually, I called the police.

One year later I met a Twitch streamer named fleeoptic. We talked for a while but soon immediately began flirting. I lied and told him I was 16 and he told me he was 19. He found out pretty soon into our relationship that I was 13, but didn’t break up with me. We exchanged pictures and masturbated on call. We fought a lot because of the age difference. my mom even talked to him, where he told her he was in 8th grade and knew me via his little sister. We broke up after a few months.

After all of this… I had horrible body image, I saw myself as what they told me I was. I gained an editing disorder, my c-ptsd from being molested as a very young child worsened and I was sent to a mental hospital 3 times by my school. I stoped taking showers and brushing my teeth, I even made several plans to kill myself.

I recently started Highschool… and I think I’m going much better than before! My ED has gotten better, my self image has gotten better, my hygiene has gotten better. I’m still struggling… but once you’ve hit rock bottom the only way to look is up. I hope sharing my story helps others realize they aren’t alone, and even if you think you won’t ever break out of the cycle it’s not impossible! You aren’t alone.