Idk what to do

Me and my partner have a 3mo old and live currently with his parents, his parents want to take our son to a hockey game in a few weeks but I just don’t feel ready for that I have bad anxiety already without my son leaving the house to be gone for hours but my partner really wants him to go and I just feel like I’m not ready and I’m not really in the mood for fighting with anyone since I already want to put a bullet in my head for other reasons I just want to be happy and enjoy my baby but when I say that it’s “well they want to enjoy him too” it makes me feel awful I just don’t want to share sometimes (sorry for a messy “vent”)