Matched with girl from my church group on a dating app, went on one quick date, now she texted “Okay cool don’t respond back” – what happened here?

Me: M/25 Her: F/23 Context: We used to be in the same young single adult church ward (LDS) in a small college town in the Mountain West. We never really talked much in person, but I always thought she was cute. Recently we matched on a dating app (Mutual – LDS dating app) and I was honestly pretty excited.

I’m trying to understand what happened and whether I did something wrong, or if this is just her being avoidant / not interested.

The Mutual conversation

On the app I opened with something like:

“Hi ( name)! Long time no see! How have you been? Are you still living in [my town]?”

She replied:

“Yes for a little bit and then moving.”

I asked where and how soon, and if she’d have time to go on a date before she moved. She said:

“I’m hoping before Christmas. I’m going to be out of town a lot :(”

Later I directly asked:

“Would you like to go on a date?”

She said:

“I don’t know if I will have time. I’m getting busy with finals week and going home for holidays and stuff.”

A bit later she actually followed up and said that today was the only day she’d be free, and suggested we meet quickly at a fast-casual place (Costa Vida). So we set a time for that evening.

The in-person “date”

I had to rush home from work, shower, and get ready. There was a little confusion in the messages (she suddenly said she could go “right now fast” and then “meet me at Costa Vida right now if you can”). I ended up going when I could, and told her I was coming and roughly when I’d be there.

When I got there, she had already placed an online order and was sitting there eating. I hadn’t ordered anything and honestly felt awkward ordering while she was already halfway through her meal, so I just sat with her and tried to make conversation.

The whole thing felt kind of rushed and awkward: • She kept mentioning she had to leave soon / didn’t have much time. • I was trying to keep conversation going while not eating anything. • There was no hug at the beginning or end. She didn’t initiate any kind of affection, so I didn’t either. We basically just said goodbye and left.

I also ended up being like 40 minutes late to a Friendsgiving with my cousin because of this, which added to the stress on my end.

Switching to text (after the date)

We exchanged numbers and later I texted something like:

“Hey, this is John btw.”

She just reacted with a 👍.

A couple days later I texted:

“How was your Thanksgiving?”

She replied:

“Good.”

I asked if she was still with family, she said:

“Yes I’m about to move.”

I asked:

“So you won’t be in [town] from this point forward?” “So I won’t be seeing you again?”

She said:

“I’m moving.”

Later she texted:

“I didn’t know you wanted to see me beforehand, we had just seen each other right before Thanksgiving. That was the first time I saw you in a very long time 😂”

I replied something polite like:

“Gotcha, thanks for clarifying. Hope the move goes smoothly.”

Then she said:

“Do you not agree?”

I said:

“Yeah I agree—it had been a long time. No worries at all, I just didn’t know you were moving so soon.”

She replied:

“I told you it was February.”

I apologized and said I must’ve mixed up the timing and again wished her well with the move.

Then much later she asked:

“Are you still with family?”

I said I’d been with family and asked how her evening was. She replied:

“It is good.”

Then, out of nowhere the next day I get:

“Okay cool don’t respond back”

What I’m confused about

– I don’t feel like I was rude or pushy. – I was genuinely trying to be respectful and clear. – Her messages felt defensive (“Do you not agree?” / “I told you it was February”) and then that last one felt like a hard shutdown.

My questions 1. Did I actually do something wrong here, or is this just her not being into it / stressed about moving? 2. Should I take “Okay cool don’t respond back” literally and never message her again? (I’ve respected that and haven’t replied.) 3. Is there anything I should have done differently on the date itself (like ordering food anyway, going for a quick hug goodbye, etc.)? 4. How do I keep from internalizing this as “I’m the problem” when it feels like I was just talking normally?

I’m not trying to drag her or get people to hate on her; I just want to understand what I can learn from this and how to read situations like this better in the future.