She told me I’d understand when I had my own kids, but now I understand her less than ever

Whenever my (35F) mom felt I was “misbehaving” or “rebelling” against her (which honestly was just disagreeing with her lol) or when I’d get upset with her, she’d always say to me “You’ll understand when YOU have a child.”

But now that I have one (5 months postpartum), I don’t understand her AT ALL.

“Art will never be a career, it’s just a hobby. You’re not allowed to study it, you’ll fail in life.” - for wanting to go to college for art/animation

“You’re ruining my life. There’s no point in living anymore, you might as well kill me.” - for dating someone she didn’t hand pick

“It’s been 2 months since you had the baby and you’re still fat. Don’t you think you should go to the gym?” - for not being pre-pregnancy weight fast enough

“(after a traumatic childbirth and postpartum that landed me in the ER) Okay, but you’re still going to have a second right?” - for expressing fear with future pregnancies

“You used to be such a good girl. You’ve changed.” - for expressing my opinion that differed from hers

And most currently, the silent treatment and dodging my calls/texts for speaking my mind (telling her that my brother’s fiancé is a fine and good person, and reminding her it took her years to accept my husband) instead of blindly listening to and agreeing with her.

“I don’t want to talk to you. You’ve hurt me so much. I’m depressed about my life, nothing goes as planned and I guess I expected too much from you and your brothers.” (We are all happily married - or are about to be - with normal jobs (one is even a ✨doctor✨) and we all assist her with her finances, admin stuff, chores around her house, invite her on outings, etc so idk what she ‘expected’ that she didn’t get lol)

ANYWAY… I look at my daughter and think… “How would there ever be a world in which I said these things to you?”

How would there ever be a world in which I would hurt her or impeded her dreams or made her feel guilty for feeling fear or punished her for speaking up…?

Having a child didn’t make me understand her as she said it would. All it did was make me understand her less than ever and grieve a little for myself as her daughter.