Would anyone be able to give this opening idea a quick glance?

But not too quick. Just quick enough to actually read at a brisk pace. Or whatever your reading speed is.

Thank you!

This is the opening idea for a sci-fi I’m writing. It’s going to be dealing with some AI/artificial reality stuff and time travel.

The main purpose of this excerpt is to introduce the main character (Seiko) and her friend (Yukitaka)

I’m super open to tips!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hNnBv_9HS5ltDrDfx_NMspCspRzZvs8SwM9bIRs0Vfk/edit?usp=sharing