does nonmonogamy get easier with time once you figure things out?
Me and my partner have recently gotten more active with seeking people for casual interactions, kink and fwb type dynamics. We are not poly, just sexually open. We attempted full openness where both of us can play separately but we did this at a really bad emotional time for both of us for other reasons and so it didn’t go down well; we chose to now, after a while break and many discussions to only play together for the moment. We have great communication, and while we can occasionally bicker in very minor ways we never argue, only calmly express opinions, listen and discuss. Sometimes these chats can be awkward or tough, and sometimes we can feel frustrated but we never take it out on one another. We only give each other space to express and then respond, and figure out a way forward. With regards to this, we have had some emotional turmoil after our first kinky threesome, figuring out how our power dynamic would work when it involves other people, the threesome was incredible but triggered a bunch of feelings and many discussions following (se my previous ost in bdsm advice on my profile if curious). We have now figured out a way forward which we both feel happy with. However, my partner expressed that they feel somewhat drained by all the heavy and complex discussions we have had over the last couple of weeks following this hook up; they were careful to state they understand the importance of it and are happy with the outcomes but are just feeling tired and don’t want to talk about it anymore. I agreed, and said I have heard the initial stages of establishing non monogamous dynamics can be complicated but that eventually it gets easier and should hopefully all be worth it down the line as it’s something we both would really like to be a part of our sex lives. To those of you who have been there before, am I right in thinking it gets easier? Neither of us has loads of experience to draw from, so i appreciate any input :)
Posted Dec 3, 2025, 1:33 AM UTC