Christmas with Family

First time, wanted some opinions on this situation.

I'm 35(M) have been with my wife (33F) for 10 years, married for two. Every year we have the same disagreement around where to spend Christmas.

Our families live on opposite sides of the country. My family is very big on Christmas, hers isn't as much. When we first started dating we discussed it and I understood her to mean one year we'd go to my family, the next we'll go to hers. What I found out later was that she meant one year to my family, the other year maybe to her family or maybe we stay together and don't go to either family, making a tradition of our own. However what that does is that it causes the balance to be thrown off so if we spend it just together, the next year she might want to spend it with her family when it should be my family's turn, which can lead to not spending that with my family for two years in a row. The result is that every Christmas there's an argument of sorts about where to go. There have been times where I've gone to my parents alone and she's stayed at our place by herself or I've stayed with her when it was supposed to be my family's year, understanding we may go to her family, only for that to not happen and we just spend it together (which I don't mind but that wasn't the initial plan).

Fast-forward to this year, this would make 3 years that we haven't been to my family. I was trying to see if I could get my family and hers to come to our place instead, she's now said that's not right as she wanted to go to her family home this year and not be at our place. My parents will be coming to where we are regardless because my sister also lives in the same city we do. Granted she had mentioned wanting to go to her family this earlier this year but it wasn't set in stone and it slipped my mind. My idea was to have both our families come to our place and have Christmas together.

Given all that, any advice on this Christmas debacle?

N.B: we've spent all New Years together since we got together and she takes me spending Christmas with her and then wanting to spend New Years with my family (even if she's there) as not having wanted to spend time with her during Christmas in the first place.