code checking/fresh/probation scare!

skip to end to avoid emotional rant! so i’m coming to the end of my probation and my manager recently put me in fresh to do some code checking, i was rly nervous at first and when i was being trained with the girl it went fine, missed some stuff but it was my first time. i love her, but looking back she didn’t tell me half the stuff she should have and i wasn’t properly trained. i was shown how to do the basics of produce and what direction to go in, and that was essentially it. (also for reference my store is technically a supermarket but its quite a small one, only like four people can do fresh).

my next shift was someone doing long life and me doing short life, but they were also trying to teach me long life at the same time? it was really confusing and i was nowhere near confident to do the whole thing myself, only just getting comfortable with the basics. the next time im in it’s with a girl who i’m kind of friends with in work and im excited because i feel more comfortable asking her stupid questions, but turns out my manager made me do short life myself that day. i was constantly asking questions and while they said aw someone will be here to answer any questions - i don’t need people to answer my questions i need to be trained!! i had never even done the bakery section ever. it was one of those things where i had no idea where to even start, i just knew how to check the dates and how to reduce stuff if someone told me when to do it.

for the next couple of shifts i just kept fucking up. half priced everything when i should’ve first priced it bc my manager talks at the speed of light and it really confused me. also i’m on the spectrum and it’s a lot of info and i really struggle to process it. i just felt so stupid bc there was so many mistakes every single time i did it. when i think about it now i kind of understand it and the big boss like the manager manager came and said he’s noticed a lot of mistakes and he doesn’t understand what im not getting. i wasn’t trained properly and its like every time i ask a question there’s an essay full of new information. every time im in i get told something different it’s like no one understands that im still new and im not getting any of this.

last night i looked at the rota and realised i was doing it myself for the first time in a while and bawled my eyes out it just makes me so anxious and makes me feel so stupid. like for my shift today my manager wouldn’t let me have a headset even though i said i might need to ask questions, she said i could ask the person who was doing long life. she didn’t have a clue btw. i asked her, ‘do i half price these now (3pm) or 5, i can’t remember.’ she said do sandwiches first. i said aww yeah okay but after that, do i half price the wells now or at 5, and she just told me to do the sandwiches. like she couldnt answer any questions and was constantly asking the manager over the headset and everyone was obviously hearing it and i was just so embarrassed because it’s basic stuff but there’s just too much for me.

i was sacked from a job just before this and this job is like so ideal for me to get to and good money for my age so i really really need it. im so scared of failing my probation because i don’t want to just chuck fresh and give up on it while im on probation, but i don’t want to be constantly making mistakes and for them to think im too much trouble than im worth because i just wasn’t trained properly. my manager also said she put me in there bc she thinks i have potential, and i just know that she doesn’t think that anymore ive let myself down big time but i don’t know what i could’ve done differently. ive been scared to ask stuff in jobs before but i know i just need to ask and be clear so i understand, and thats what ive been doing here i have the confidence it’s just not helped.

rant over! but is it possible for anyone to answer any questions i have? just stuff that im too scared to ask in store? or could maybe talk to me abt probation stuff and what i could do?