Anyone had this issue (or string of them) come up, and if so, what was the problem and how many kidneys will I need to mortgage in order to pay for it?

2014 ELR, a little over 60k miles on him. 

Haven’t had any issues in a long time. Up to date on all service and stuff. And before anyone can suggest low hybrid battery coolant, that’s the first thing I checked and it’s totally fine. 

This morning when leaving for work, I got the “remote not detected” thing; started fine with the fob in the console pocket though. I figured the fob battery just needs replacing. Drove fine the whole way to work with no issues. But when I parked and hit the switch to power off, there was a weird little delay before he shut down. 

After work, I got in and hit the power switch to turn on and again, there was a delay….the dash and center screens didn’t come on right away. Then I got the “initializing….wait to shift” message and everything looked okay except the check engine light was on, plus the battery warning light. And the car itself didn’t sound “on.” 

Long story medium, I turned the car off and back on again. Video attached. Got all those error messages. And shifting into drive didn’t do shit…..car doesn’t wanna move. 

Gonna have to get him towed to the dealer tomorrow, I guess. In the meantime, any insight/advice/help would be super appreciated! Thank you :) 

Battery Saver Active/Not Able to Charge/Keyless Start errors