Miss being at a gay sex club so badly

I love my girlfriend right now, but I miss being at the sex club so badly. I was such a slut with basically everyone there, being used, dominated, admired, desired. I miss the feeling of cock in my mouth, of someone pounding me and kissing me. I miss being in a spitroast.

Part of me wants to stay with my girlfriend because I love her and don’t want to see her hurt; but another part wants me to go back. I’m so split.