WIBTAH if I skip Christmas dinner because I am not allowed to cook, incluiding my tofu?

Hello

So christmas dinner so far has caused already 3 arguments, 2 people cancelling (and then uncancelling) and me (33F) being called 15 times in one day to solve everything. My family is small. My grandpa (96), my mum (60) , my brother (31) and sil (30) and my boyfriend (35). And my newborn niece.

Also very important to know is that baking is my hobby and cooking as well, though less then baking.

Now the first argument went about the dessert. My mother already made clear I am not allowed to bake. Somehow something is always wrong with my baking in her eyes. She prefers a 2 euro cheesecake from aldi over my homemade one. My grandpa and I made an agreement I can make a cake for newyear when she is not there. Second argument was about chinese take-out or homemade food. (Yes my mum was the only one who wanted chinese take-out) And the third argument was about dessert again to small pastries or one big cake. (Yes, again my mum who didn't want what others want. 3rd time she got it her way btw.) My grandpa and I had made an agreement that I could create a 3 course menu and we would compare to caterer menus and the best may win.

My mum today told me I am not allowed to cook. Although the soup is my own recipe and not find in supermarkets and neither are the honey carrots. I had planned in chicken but that was also a no from her. And then came it to my vegetarian dish. I am not allowed to cook that product either. I am a vegetarian for 12 years already, and she hates it. I have to eat meat alongside the rest. Which I round out refuse. I do not force my diet on others, I do not accept the same respect shown my way. My mum made it very clear it is not my house so I do not make the decisions, which is ironic considering she made every.single.argument so far.

I had managed that deal with my grandpa because he knows I love to cook. Apparently that has all changed now because both he and my mum don't want me to cook. A friend told me to make a cauliflower casserole and just eat that while they can munch on dry chicken from a caterer. (I make a mean cauliflower casserole that even had my nephew take second and thirds). If not the only thing I will be munching on will be carrot and duchesses - if I can get them to agree with airfryer. (My mum uses ox fat to fry in.) And I might be able to get my casserole in. I might not be allowed to heat it.

I don't want to sit there... munching on a damn carrot. Maybe for dessert. And only because I want to see my niece. I already have to leave my dogs at home for hours because her dogs are dangerous so I am kind of getting sick of it. As well because during gatherings of my family there are always arguments and I have to mediate between them all. So WIBTAH if I told them they can call me when dessert is being served?