Relapse

This might be the wrong sub to post this in, but idk where else to ask. I’m so lost.

As you can see from my previous post history, I quit about three months ago after finally getting so sick of lying to everyone around me and being so financially fucked that I couldn’t do it anymore. I went into treatment, got clean, had a plan, and was ready to finally get off this shit.

Well. I relapsed about a month ago and I’m about to come clean to my husband about it yet again.

I’m here to ask, for those of you that relapsed, how did that conversation go? How am I ever going to get him to trust me again? Why the FUCK am I like this?

I literally fucking hate myself. Idk why I am like this. I don’t have any trauma, my life has been great, I have tons of people around me that love and support me, and an amazing child for god’s sake.

I’m just venting at this point. Sorry I’m so disjointed. I just feel like the most selfish and pathetic person on the planet.