300 day migraine

I’ve basically dropped out of school. my relationships have all been strained and i generally feel like shit. i just hate that i was perfectly fine one day and it didn’t even take 2 hours for my nearly year long migraine to kick in.

it was literally the last day of the semester and i went to a class i liked and chilled with friends all day. i was preparing to transfer schools to a nicer school to do art.

i just hate how everything was going pretty good and then one day I’m just like completely disabled and it wasn’t even my fault. i would be able to accept this more if i had like hit my head or something but i literally didn’t do anything to cause it.

i hate not knowing if my migraines gonna go away or if it’ll be here for the rest of my life. so far no medication has made it go away and the most was a very strong med that dulled it for an hour

people get really upset with me when i say id prefer cancer because at-least you know your either gonna die or it goes into remission. i don’t get to know. of course i don’t want cancer i just don’t wanna be sick.

i hate not knowing and i hate waiting for answers. i hate being told it couldn’t hurt that bad or that i look fine. why does getting help for migraines take so goddam long. i cant even get on a waiting list to see and adult neurologist until the day i turn 18 and then i have to wait a couple years to get in.

no meds I’ve been on worked, i’ve been to the ER I’ve had an MRI and CT scan done they’ve taken my blood. I’ve been on a steroid, triptans, venlafaxine, amitriptyline and a migraine cocktail. I’ve changed my anti depressant meds. I’ve been on literally all of the meds a family doctor can prescribe. I’ve talked to a paediatric neurologist and they called me a liar. I’ve changed my eating habits, I’ve gotten more exercise. I’ve been on electronics less I’ve tried being more positive. I’ve taken supplements for magnesium, riboflavin, and CoQ10.

literally what else can i do but wait. all the doctors i go to don’t really believe me or think I’m drug seeking. i understand the migraine i have is weird and its easier to assume I’m just lying but do you really think id tear up my life for a bit of attention