I don’t know how to accept, move on, or deal with this

I will try to explain the best way I can, I’m hoping and thinking that people here will understand me. For the past few years I’ve been feeling intense shame and regret. I keep thinking about how my life could have been and it makes me feel very depressed and lost.

It feels pointless and too late to fix everything. I feel bad I’m not younger and prettier. I hate my body, my life, my experiences. Every one says “well you can’t change the past” and it irks me to no end, it just makes me sink deeper. It feels like my life is besmirched and I can’t stand it? I wish I could explain this better.

I am obese, and it has given me insane stretch marks, I feel bad I don’t want to offend anyone, I know that everyone has them but mine are so intense and violent. I’m just so unhappy, if I lose weight they will still be there and my body will probably look worse. I have other weird scars on my face and arms.

I’ve often had a lack of health family and social support. It feels like life is against me, I’ve felt so much dissapointment in my life and feels like a common thread.

Idk what to do, I feel like I’ve really tried to do and feel better. Idk I guess this is a half vent and half asking for advice. Thank you for reading this.