NJPW – DESTRUCTION 2008

“Please Don’t Ask How This Card Was Approved.”

Live from Ryogoku Kokugikan — And Yes, We’re Still Paying That Lighting Bill.

1. Opening Match: CHAOS vs GBH Preview Multi-Man

YOSHI-HASHI, Tomohiro Ishii & Jado
vs.
Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask, & Ryusuke Taguchi

Company Strategy Notes:

• Start with Liger because he’s the only guy guaranteed to get a pop in 2008.
• Taguchi requested “a simple night.” He is not getting one.
• Ishii told us he’d “keep it light.” We do not believe him.

2. Young Lion Sadness Showcase™

Tetsuya Naito & Yujiro Takahashi (NO LIMIT)
vs.
Hirooki Goto & A Random Young Lion We Found Doing Pushups Backstage

Company Strategy Notes:

• Every year we pretend we’re pushing Goto. This is that moment.
• The Young Lion was given no instruction. Pure chaos.
• Naito says he will “try something new.” Dear God.

3. “We Swear This Feud Has Heat” Tag Match

Giant Bernard & Karl Anderson
vs.
Manabu Nakanishi & Takao Omori

Company Strategy Notes:

• Office insists Bad Intentions “are the future.”
• Nakanishi insisted he could suplex Bernard. The medical team says otherwise.
• This match exists mostly because Anderson keeps showing up early and asking to wrestle.

4. IWGP Junior Tag Trial Series (aka “Let’s Throw Them Out There Again”)

Prince Devitt & Minoru
vs.
The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin)

Company Strategy Notes:

• We are desperately hoping the crowd believes we meant to book something this good.
• Sabin has already promised 14 dives.
• Devitt is beginning to realize he’ll be here for 15 years. We are thrilled.

5. “Heavyweight Who Could Be Pushed, But Won’t Be” Showcase

Hiroyoshi Tenzan
vs.
Tomko

Company Strategy Notes:

• Tomko demanded a singles match. Nobody knows why.
• Tenzan believes he is winning this. The booking sheet says otherwise.
• This is the “go get concessions” match unless Tomko botches something spectacular.

6. Special Attraction: The “Why Is This So Serious?” Match

Shinsuke Nakamura
vs.
Mitsuhide Hirasawa

Company Strategy Notes:

• Nakamura told us he wants to “experiment with charisma.” We don’t know what that means, but we’re bracing ourselves.
• Poor Hirasawa. That is all.

7. IWGP Tag Team Championship

Togi Makabe & Toru Yano (GBH)
(c) vs.
Hiroshi Tanahashi & Captain New Japan

Company Strategy Notes:

• Office: “Put Tanahashi in something safe.”
• Also Office: “Pair him with Captain New Japan.”
• Makabe plans to hit Yano “by accident” again. Yano is fine with this.

8. Semi-Main Event: “Big Lads Slapping Meat Before It Was Cool”

Yuji Nagata
vs.
Satoshi Kojima

Company Strategy Notes:

• This match is 90% legitimate fighting and 10% mutual respect.
• Also, Kojima demanded “at least one walk-away lariat.”
• Nagata is prepared to kick whoever he wants in the face.

9. Main Event – IWGP Heavyweight Championship

Keiji Mutoh (Champion)
vs.
Hiroshi Tanahashi
(Yes, Tanahashi Is Wrestling Twice. No, We Did Not Plan This Well.)

Company Strategy Notes:

• Mutoh is working smarter, not harder. Mostly not working.
• Tanahashi is absolutely carrying this company on his hair.
• The result will depend on:
  • how tired Tanahashi is,
  • how hot the crowd is,
  • and whether Mutoh feels like doing the moonsault today (low odds).

Final Office Summary

• 30% of this card is intentional.
• 40% is “just book whoever is here.”
• 20% exists because Tanahashi is invincible.
• The remaining 10% is Yano up to something.