my partner had to leave because im too sick to handle

I don’t know what to do anymore. im so sick of ruining every good thing. I don’t have friends left. I tried not to mess this up I really tried but I did AGAIN by splitting and not recovering enough. im so fucking tired, I just want it to get better but “better” feels so far away :(

I don’t want to be alone like this forever. I don’t know how to stop feeling abandoned by them taking a step back. I’m so tired