r/Advice•
MishaysADHD

Love confusion,

So to give some quick background, I(18F) have known this guy (18M), let's call him Alex for now, since freshman year and we have interacted on a common schedule in school, we talk in the halls sometimes, fist bump each other or dab each other up when we see each other, im chill with him hes chill with me, im blunt and straight to the point, he keeps that same energy out of respect and he does treat me differently then his other friends, we didn't interact much around sophomore year, but we have this junior year and this year and i have gained a crush on him since 4 months ago back when school started again. today, Tuesday Dec 2nd, around 11:15, I made up my mind to straight up ask him out, and calmed myself down before doing so and I stopped him, we fist bumped as normal, and I asked him—

"Hey Alex, before you go this is what I wanna ask, Do you want to go out with me?" And he responds word for word— "I'm sorry, my parents don't allow that."

Which I was more then cool with, because it's wasn't a no from him, and he knows not to lie or beat around the bush with me, so when he said that which I fully understand, I was still happy because he didn't say no about liking me but when I really thought about it he didn't clarify for me so I waited until after-school, in the program, and he did do football workouts with everyone too when he finished his work so I could tell he was tired, and i did talk to his brother who knew i had asked him out, and also knew i ment romantically because thats what it means when you ask someone out alone, then when we were heading down for parent pickup at 4:55, I stopped him again and I asked him straight up–

"Hey Alex, I know what you said earlier today about your parents not allowing it, but I ment would you go out on a date with me if your parents did allow it?" He responded–

"Yes, I would love too." That's what he said word for word that still plays in my head, but when I got home after texting his number so he could remember what mines is, he texted me back again and said—

"Yo (Nyma), just received some info from my brother. Unfortunately, if you are thinking about getting to know each other better as in a romantic way, sadly I'd have to decline, I prefer for us to be good friends rather than dating. I should've asked beforehand but of course coming out from football workouts, all I thought about was just going to my bed.. Again, I'm really sorry for not fully clarifying this with you." But he said he would love to go out with me before we left and I asked him if he was sure before I left, and he said he was, and now I'm confused, I texted back—

"why did you say you would love to go out with me when I doubled down asking if you would want to go out with me?, Meaning your feelings, not focusing on what you said earlier with your parents not allowing it. Just your feelings alone. And you said you would love to, and i said we could just get to know each other if your parents dont allow dating, do you like me in any romantic sense at all?"

He texts back— "Being fully honest, you asked me these questions when I was dead tired. I only thought you meant it as in a closer friendship, not a relationship. Naturally, my parents don't allow me to go out even if it deals with friends, which is why I thought that way. Again, sorry if I lead you into thinking I wanted a relationship."

But he never answered my main question, and now I don't know what to think since he fell asleep around 6 I think, I need some advice since this is the first time in a long time that I've had a crush or even tried asking someone out and I really do like him, and I'm fine with being just friends but I want clarity and not unanswered questions that make me confused and uncertain on how to even interact with him anymore, even if he doesn't like me back, at least I told him my feelings and stuff, this shit is fucking with my brain worse then my upincoming finals the week after next weeeeeeeekkkkkkm!!!

Posted Dec 3, 2025, 1:44 AM UTC

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