I hate that I got as far as I did only to now realize my disabilities are disabling

Not sure if this is the right tag, but I want to vent. I (31M) recently finished an interview for a Research Associate position where I felt I bombed big time. I don't plan on changing a thing after the interview since I want to continue to be unmasked and sus out what works for me as an unmasked AuDHD adult. After reflecting on why I feel delated after the interview outside of RSD, I'm confident it's because how I've been raised all of my life to be like "any other kid" or (as my father would say) "you have issues like everyone else you just don't hide it as well" (undermining things in other words).

Now that I'm doing these interviews for "normal" jobs, I'm realizing that my disabilities are disabling in an interview context due to my directness and honesty when I'm unmasked, rather than tailoring my answers on the fly with what the interviewer wants to hear (which I can't do anyway). The way I see it, if they don't appreciate it, then I wasn't a fit for that job anyway. After one of my previous posts also asked if other AuDHDers worked a "normal" job and I saw that many don't and the ones who do have a ton of accommodations, I now see that disabilities do show that they're disabled at some point in a person's life, late diagnosed or not.

I realize I've had a fair amount of comments from one user lately who's been super polite and seems to work a "normal" full-time job and works well with people, but I see that they're the exception and not the rule. That said, I've always been told I'm exceptional, but I'm truly not anymore despite having a PhD since I got a ton of outside assistance and cut back on a ton of extracurricular work compared to what my peers did (e.g., I didn't take a course to become a TA by my second year of my Master's program) to be able to even finish my degrees.

Had I known how disabling my disabilities are for me, I wouldn't have chosen the path I did and got involved with vocational rehabilitation back in my mid 20s instead of getting a Master's degree so I could move on to working jobs that are more up my alley. I'm hoping I can get an apprenticeship for a data entry position soon personally. Either way, I hate that I wasted all of my 20s pursuing a PhD with diminishing returns just to end up applying to a ton of jobs I would've applied to in my mid 20s since I had the minimum qualifications for them even back then.

Open to advice on anything here.