I'm in love with my straight best friend

I'm 16m, he's 17. It's been literal years, I know he's straight, I don't think he knows I'm not. I've been getting more obvious about it, I take him to see movies and buy his tickets, I baked him muffins, I buy him presents for his birthday and christmas every year, I think he just thinks I'm really friendly. Once while hanging out he found out I didn't know how to slow dance and he taught me for like an hour in the snow at night and I thought it meant something but that's the only thing he's ever done that's made me wonder if this isn't one-sided. What do I do?? I've tried so hard to get over this but it always comes back. I don't even know how to react to this myself, I don't wanna like guys, I just wanna forget all of this and be normal cause I know even if my effort works out, we could never actually be anything, not without being burned on a stake socially. If I were anyone else I know I'd react the same too so I don't think I even deserve to be upset about this. I can't stand knowing that he will never love me back but I can't just stop loving him either. I feel like such a loser crying to reddit about my unrealistic fantasies. I guess I'm asking for advice? We're hanging out again next week, I might cancel just so I don't do something stupid. tldr read the title again cause the rest of the post was just an embarrassing rant/vent