. 🌙 My Heartfelt Story – Searching for Someone Who Truly Sees Me

Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Today, I want to open my heart. Not to gain pity… but because keeping everything inside has become too heavy for me.

For 22 years of marriage, I loved one man with everything I had. I gave him loyalty, patience, sacrifice, and a heart that never stopped hoping. I loved him even when it hurt. I loved him even when he didn’t know how to love me back.

But my love was treated like it meant nothing.

When I was heavily pregnant—carrying his child—he was walking with another woman. When I stayed faithful, he kept remembering a high school ex-girlfriend as if she was someone he could never let go of. When I tried to fix our marriage, he feel like there's nothing to fix.

And the pain didn’t stop with him. His family… they never accepted me.They never appreciate me. No matter how hard I tried to be kind, respectful, and patient, I was always the one to blame. Even when the mistakes were his, the judgment always fell on me.

Years and years of trying… Years of swallowing my tears… Years of pretending I was strong when inside I was breaking…

I have reached a point where my heart whispers, “You deserve peace.” “You deserve kindness.” “You deserve to be loved without being compared, without being humiliated.”

I am tired. I am exhausted. But I am not giving up on myself.

I am opening my heart to the possibility of finding a good Muslim man from another country with stabl finances—someone who knows how to cherish a woman, someone who fears Allah, someone who understands loyalty, someone who can love gently and sincerely.

I don’t seek perfection. I only seek a heart that is honest. A soul that brings peace. A partner who can love me for who I am—with all my flaws, my scars, and my story.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. May Allah bring goodness and healing to all of our hearts.

Fyi : I'am 40 years old with two grown children and i'am Indonesian woman moslem

Wassalamuallaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.