I was abused my whole childhood and didn't realise until last year

I was abused my whole childhood and didn't realise until last year

I lived with my aunt and uncle growing up I was homescooled and totally isolated i didn't really see anyone outside of our family unit so things like sleeping all together in the same bed never felt strange or weird because I had no concept of it being unusual when things worsened and the abuse began I had no point of reference for anything being askew. Everything seems normal nothing was scary or painful. In fact it felt warm and safe and felt really good it felt like an additional show of love

So when I was separated from my abusers and moved away for school so many stories I told new friends I made quickly made me realise that my experiences growing up was not normal even things I still think are innocent like no closed doors ever my friends will tell me that's weird

Idk I feel like I should be affected more by my abuse and I am affected it makes me feel dumb and not like people my age but when I read about other victims I don't relate because I didn't have a shameful guilty environment growing up I don't feel like a victim even now