What's the fucking point

I'm so tired. I'm so tired of trying. It's so hard. I'm just an autistic fucking freak who's never going to be able to form meaningful connections. I'm never gonna have a real friend. I'm never gonna be someone's person. I'm never gonna have someone who enjoys my company. I'm never gonna have someone who looks for me, who really knows me. I'm just not wired that way. I'm not made to be loved. I'm not made to be cared about. I'm made to be forgotten. And I hate it I hate it I hate it I'm so FUCKING tired. I just want to be real