Diary I need opinions

Today i wanted to tear my skin off, i felt so uncomfortable in my skin and everytime i saw myself i wanted to cry. I just don't feel right in my own skin. Everything feels off. My parents and I are fighting. I can feel there disappointment and frustration and worry looming around them. Its like our relationship has been torn. I look at myself and I'm not mad at what i did. Im mad at them. Im no longer happy and they haven't seen my stress or my pain. People that care about you should notice. Instead they make comments about me being moody and miserable. "Why are you being rude". I feel like a failure to them with this low energy mood. I want to cry but i don't have anything to sad about. I just feel cut off and ignored. Ive done so much and ive always had to be the perfect example, the golden child. But im so broken and hurt. Im running on 0% left and more things are getting added on. Work stress Mental stress Ptsd and trauma Anxiety Depression Home stress Childhood trauma What. Do. I. Do.? Im so lost and i don't want to lose more by saying more. I don't want to text some helpline because others need it more then me.