Life shouldn’t be so hard

I shouldn’t have to work twice as hard for half as much. I shouldn’t be working 16 hour days to make my manager and other higher ups rich. But at least I have a comfy desk job. I shouldn’t have to keep beating myself over things I can’t control such as my height.

I hate how society at large look at me like I’m some kind of freak of nature due to my height. I feel overlooked for promotions and I feel anxious 24/7. I hate the fact I’ve always been so neurotic and been a victim of bullying and ridicule.

I feel like I’ve been robbed of my youth, the best years of my life spent wallowing in self pity.

I’m not sure where to from here on. All those years of neglect and trauma have done a number on my mental health. I avoid women mostly and I hate interactions with them. I have sort of embraced a life of solitude and enjoy my own company. It wasn’t always this way. I did have hopes and dreams for my future self. One that involved getting married and raising children. I feel like a defeated man. Almost waiting for death at this point. It’s all so hopeless and futile. I don’t know where to from here.