46M, Curious First-Timer, Seeking a Discreet & Patient Guide

Hi everyone,

I’m writing with a lot of honesty and some nerves and also fear. I’m a 46-year-old man who’s lived a straight life, but I’ve reached a point where I can no longer ignore a strong curiosity to explore being with a man.

My feelings are specific: I have a strong urge to try giving oral sex and am also maybe curious about bottoming for the first time. This is all very new to me, so I need absolute discretion and a lot of patience.

I’m not just looking for a quick hookup. I’m hoping to find someone kind, understanding, and experienced who can be a respectful guide. I need someone who is a good, reassuring communicator—someone who can help talk me through it, answer questions without judgment, and help me feel comfortable and safe enough to take this step.

And to be honest I don't have the courage and very afraid of this step.

And For my comfort, safety, and to ensure we’re on the same page about discretion, I would need our first meeting to be in a public place, like for a coffee, with no expectations—just to talk and connect.

If you are empathetic, discreet, and believe you can offer a pressure-free space for a first-timer, I’d really like to hear from you.

I know i ask for too much

Thanks for reading and for your understanding.