full of regret and despair

I'm 28 never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. Still a virgin. Never even seen a girl naked in real life. I've always felt like a failure because of this. Feels like I wasted my youth and my life. My whole life just seemed like I couldn't ever get that 'moment'. Every girl I ever liked and had a crush on never liked me back. Feels like a void I missed out on something. Haunts me every day I wake up and it's pretty much the only thing I think about. Sucks going through life crippling loneliness while watching everybody else get to have their many moments and fun. I haven't had my validation yet. I don't even feeling like getting up in the morning because what is there to look forward to? I'm not that special. I'm short 5'5 and have a babyface that still makes me look 19/20. I can't even approach girls cause I have PTSD from my rejections and called ugly in high school. I'm feeling broken and hopeless. All I've ever wanted, was to experience love, sex, cuddles, kisses, etc. All that good stuff. It would completely flip my whole world upside down even if just ONE girl was interested in me sexually and romantically. Recently, I try going out to clubs and bars to put myself out there, but I can't even talk to a girl because I feel so much overwhelming pressure to get a girlfriend, that it gets to my head. I can't even comprehend what it would be like to have a girl lust over me. I don't smile anymore. I barely laugh. I'm just dead inside. Whatever