How do you deal with this?

My (30F) CN spouse (33 M) is in this mode of doing everything I’ve ever asked/stopping any specific behavior I’ve called out as an issue after I told him I’m done and leaving.

He’s heard me saying the yelling has to stop, so to his credit, he hasn’t objectively yelled. Although will passive aggressively preface what he’s about to say with “I don’t want you to think I’m yelling.”

I’ve said “you never ask me how I feel about things.” And now he asks “how are you feeling about that?” in the most scripted way.

The passive aggressive comments, subtle control, and gas lighting haven’t actually gone anywhere though. It makes me feel crazy because if I’m asked “well has he gotten any better?” I feel like I almost can’t honestly say no? He’s seemingly stopped some of the surface level behaviors I’ve specifically called out post saying I’m done.

I feel like part of it is that he knows there’s couples therapy upcoming where he’d have to take accountability if he did rage at me.

Planning to leave still, it just is making me feel crazy again and is hard to articulate what’s going on to close friends and parents. That it’s so much more than just arguments that go to far and hurt feelings.