AIO for not paying my bff back for bailing on my bday?

I (25F) planned a trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras 2026 that happened to fall on my birthday. I invited my bff (25F) and our two good friends (both 25F). We all grew up together, my bff (Karen) and I have been best friends for 10+ years. We all paid about $500 in April of 2025 for an Airbnb.

Karen has gone through a lot in the past year, and was looking for a job when she made the payment. She had mentioned a few times since April to me that she may not be able to afford/take the days off. These comments were made in passing often while gaming. She never addressed the group with her concerns. Until, today. I knew karen had been hesitant to tell her job of her travel plans, she thought it looked bad on her to have vacations planned when she just started working. Well, today she told me she can’t take the days off work. And provided me with two solutions to our situation: find somewhere else, or split her portion between us. I was immediately on defense because my best friend was demanding I cancel my trip so she can get her money back.

I want to point out a few things about New Orleans. Not the safest place to be. We purposefully booked our trip this far in advance to be in the French quarter and have a balcony. We also paid far in advance due to how expensive the time of year is. When I presented the solution of Karen finding us an alternative place to stay, she took 3 minutes on Airbnb and sent 3 listings all outside of the French Quarter, and some out of our price range.

My frustration came from her demanding I pay her back because she couldn’t control that her job wont let her go. I expect that when someone goes in on a group trip so far in advance with little to no warning they may back out last minute, it is on them to find a solution or take the L. Karen told me I am going to have to deal with the consequences of others peoples actions and called me entitled to my idea of what my bday vacation should be. She repeated over and over that the Airbnb is refundable and that’s all that matters, ignoring that if we refund the Airbnb, the rest of us are out of a trip. She texted in all caps “give me my money back”. She insulted me, attacked me, and demanded I fix the situation. She never offered a real solution, she never asked for my help with finding a replacement, she did not care what damage her refund would do to the rest of us going. After arguing for a while I was ready to sent her $250 and leave it at that, she refused saying she needed it all. I consider our friendship over after how I was treated today (not the first time this type of thing has been an issue). I am more than happy to have helped find a solution, but after the way she treated me, I think she can do it by herself or face the consequences of her own actions!

The two other girls still coming are of the belief that if you bail this close to a group trip, it is up to you to find a solution or take the L. When Karen finally messaged the group, the other two girls immediately shot down the idea of paying her back her share. We still have time to plan, but as of right now she is out of luck. Am I overreacting for not giving my friend her money back?