The scale at my doctor’s office is my new enemy

Hi everyone I know I posted about this before but here’s a quick summary.

I’m 28 years old, I weigh anywhere from 123-126, and I’m 4’11. All my life I have suffered with body dysmorphia. I hate that BMI views me as “overweight” like that’s just painful to see. I hate when I weigh myself (it’s constantly) my weight always changes. I know that’s normal with daily weight changes and shifts but I can’t figure out my true weight. I also have the ugly habit of weighing myself at night and I know at night weight is always on the higher end. So I don’t understand my body at all and the BMI claiming I’m overweight. It’s such a horrible discouraging feeling.

I have been visiting the doctor lately due to recent medical issues. The first time I went I was 126, then the second time I was 129 (but it was the end of the day and I was on my period), this time I’m 130 but it was the end of the day and I had to ask the nurse to subtract the weight of my shoes. My mom said to me that I weighed more this time and I said to her a few days ago I was 125 in the morning. My mom said I shouldn’t let the weight go over 126 due to my height being 4’11. Let’s just say my feelings are very hurt and I’m deeply confused. All my clothes still fit it doesn’t feel like I gained weight. My clothes size is 2-4 and x-small and small. I’m on my feet all day at work and I rarely sit that long so I get a lot of steps in. I’m also very fit by going for long walks and doing at home workouts. But I guess all of that isn’t enough?