ADHD versus just a bad person?

This may come out as jumbled but I am struggling with the implication that I am a bad person. Brief context: I grew up with an ADHD diagnosis, my mom used to also tell people that I had Tourette's even though I didn't (to save me and her from embarrassment from what I would say). She also used to tell me adults would either love me or hate me as a child because of my attitude. I have worked so hard to work on my attitude but I literally DONT SEE IT! I will be talking, and people say I have an attitude and I am flabbergasted. I know it can't be everyone else but it's very hard to change what I literally cannot see.

More recently I have turned into a horrible drunk. I actually don't think I was ever a "good drunk." But after 10 years and some lost friendships I finally did the ultimate move and embarrassed everyone at a family wedding. This wasn't the first offense either, over the last few years my behavior has gotten worse and I don't understand why. I did notice that my behavior was at it's worst when I was put on certain meds (adderall/Lexapro). I don't take adderall anymore and now I feel that I've been on lexapro long enough it "shouldn't" effect me.

Logically I can look at this and see that I was never allowed to use ADHD as an excuse for anything but that it probably did impact some of my behavior. Growing up it was "guilty until proven innocent". And I learned to take accountability, but I think I also internalized that inherently I am a bad person by default.

I let down a lot of people...I decided to go sober before I lost anymore relationships and maybe that makes me seem like "not a bad person" but I did a lot of shitty things when I was drinking. I don't know why I can't be normal like the rest of my family... I feel like I am a failure. I always forget things, I'm moody, do things too impulsively, say stupid shit... I get compared to my spouse and it is very clear that he is the "better one."

I've been sober for a few months now and I see that yes, I am better sober, but I am still this person that struggles with all of this garbage. So I am wondering, how much of this is ADHD and how much of it is maybe I am simply not a good person? What can I fix and what should I just try to manage?