Honesty in Advertising

I would like to suggest that the submissive gentlemen looking for a connection make sure they have done some self-reflection first. It is okay to be uncertain about what you want, to want a temporary online distraction, to want someone to fulfill your submissive fantasies, or whatever you want that you feel you cannot share. (And I am sorry that you have felt you cannot share). What is not okay is not being clear about what you are looking for when you engage with a potential Domme. Don't waste her time. Be clear about where you are in your personal journey and what you are looking for. Being submissive doesn't let you off the hook for handling things like an adult: be forthright and respectful.

I have encountered too many submissive men in my DMs who profess to want to please, but are solely focused on their own needs, and I haven't even been at this for very long at all. If you are searching for someone to fulfill very specific fantasies or relive what your favorite ex did to you, that is okay.

But if you say you want a relationship, put some effort into getting to know HER. She is unique. If you describe submission as putting her desires first and wanting to please her, then do that. You can have your desires and express your wants and your boundaries. You do not need to be submissive in every aspect of your life or of a relationship.

Just be honest. With yourself first, so you can be fully honest with potential Dommes. Being new to this, I realize that I may have attracted the type who want to "guide" me and possibly hope to mold me into their ideal Domme. I own my part in what I attract and what I entertain, but I am forthcoming and compassionate, and have not been met with the same online. The submissive men I have engaged with have been more selfish than the vanilla or dominant men I have engaged with. Why is this?

Why call yourself submissive and then demand, directly or indirectly, how things will proceed? Why call yourself submissive if your sexual kinks are focused on yourself and what turns you on, with no to little regard for what turns her on? If you have pre-set desires that have nothing to do with what the woman in front of you desires, and are looking for someone to fulfill a role for you, then perhaps you are not looking to build a relationship with a Domme. Maybe you are looking to fulfill a fantasy or relive a prior experience. And this is fine! There are outlets for that and women who would enjoy playing with you. Know this about yourself and stop the false advertising. Stop wasting the time of busy women.

And speaking for myself, please do not DM me in response to this; your thoughts are better shared in the comments.