The Real Source of Our Pain

Beyond the lack of sex, beyond the loneliness, beyond even the absence of intimacy. I've realized that none of that is the true source of the pain. I don't know about you, but in my case, I feel like I could live my whole life alone, but not without one crucial detail. In fact, I'd bet this is the case for most people here.

I have determined the real cause of my suffering. It's not the lack of a girlfriend per se, it's not the lack of friends, it's the certainty that I don't possess the necessary credentials (looks) to ever have them in my life, and that I can't even do much about it.

It's the certainty that one rejection is the reflection of millions. It's the certainty that this extends even into social circles—there are no friends to take refuge with. If you don't have the credentials, people are most likely to naturally tend to avoid you too.

What truly hurts is the certainty that you are living a sentence that is intrinsically a part of you. It drains your motivation and the will to take life seriously. After all, why live a life you fundamentally don't like?

Every coping mechanism has a time limit. Every cope is a temporary distraction. There is no escaping this; we are biologically designed to crave validation, and we cannot have it because that's just how nature works.

Water is wet