Should I make a physical move (kiss) on a woman I’ve been in an emotional affair with for months? Need real advice before tomorrow.

I (28M, single) have been in what feels like an emotional affair with a married woman (35F) since around August. Before anyone jumps on me — yes, I know this is messy. I’m not proud of it. But I need advice on what the realistic outcome is if I go for a kiss tomorrow, because this situation has gone on way too long and I feel completely stuck.

We met at the gym and started talking casually. Over time she became extremely open with me. She told me early on she was married, but later said she was “separated” and “done with him,” but still living in the same house. When we first met, she called him husband, then 3rd or 4th interaction she was telling me she wants to leave him and starting calling him ex , other days “my daughter’s dad.” It changes based on who she’s talking to, which confuses me.

Since then we’ve had:

• regular gym sessions together • long coffee meetups at Panera/Starbucks/Dunkin • deep personal conversations about her marriage, stress, moving out • phone calls on holidays (she called me on Thanksgiving) • hours-long emotional talks

She rushes to see me, shows up out of breath, parks illegally just to make it on time. She likes everything I post on social media. She’s always warm with me, joking, sharing personal things, and she’s comfortable around me in sweatpants/no makeup.

A few weeks ago she admitted she used to have a crush on a guy from the gym but it fizzled out. She also posted two quotes recently:

1. “You didn’t give me mixed signals, I just collected what I wanted to see.”
2. “I’m tired of putting myself out there.”

Which she posted literally hours before going out with her family. She also “liked” the quote I posted last night that said “Some people stay on your mind more than they should.”

My friend is telling me she’s “begging” for me to make a move. I’m not sure.

The big question: Tomorrow we’re meeting at the gym again, and possibly grabbing coffee after. I’m wondering if I should just end this emotional limbo and go for a kiss becuase idk what she wants from all this and continuously lying to me that shes moving

Part of me feels like she wants something… Part of me feels like she would panic and shut down. Part of me feels like I’ve already been pulled in too deep.

For context: • She’s 35 • I’m 28 • I’m single • She’s still married but allegedly “leaving” , shes been telling me since that since august. I never believed she was ever leaving her husband when she first told me • This emotional attachment has been going on for months • She’s very reserved normally, but opens up deeply to me • She has NEVER followed through on plans that involve true privacy • She DID rush to see me today even when she was running late

My questions for Reddit:

1. Do I actually have the lead here?
2. Would a kiss make her freak out because of guilt?
3. Is she waiting for me to step up — or is she emotionally using me?
4. What is the likely outcome if I go for a kiss tomorrow?
5. Should I be the one to break this dynamic, or am I misreading everything?

I’m looking for honest feedback from people who have been on either side of situations like this. I’m trying to understand whether she wants something physical or if I’m just her emotional escape from a bad marriage.

No hate — I already know this whole thing is complicated. I just need clarity before this drags on even longer.