i'm going to be drinking and eating myself to the grave

i don't have friends. everything overstresses me. i'm miserable constantly. i'm ugly and awkward. no woman gives me the time of day or could ever love someone as worthless as me, i literally get zero matches on dating apps and there's never an chance to meet people around here unless i'm just missing something. everyday is so empty but i'm too much of a pussy to really kill myself. but i can make things worse for myself until my body can't take anymore, so that's what i'm going to do now. therapy doesn't mean shit when you realize you're just coping and things don't actually get better, it's just a way for another broken system to make money on vulnerable that don't actually fucking matter.