Had first ever seizure and scared it’ll develop into epilepsy

20(F). Just got back from the hospital after a serious loss of consciousness and spasms, I can’t recall most of what happened and couldn’t remember what year it was or my name when questioned. CT scans turned out fine but I still need to visit a neurologist.

The doctor wasn’t worried I’d have one again and seemed nonchalant but I checked online and multiple sources say there’s a 40-50% chance. Reading other people’s experiences and I’ve never had ‘aura’ moments or issues with zoning out/disassociation, do most people have previous epileptic symptoms if there’s a serious risk? I’m terrified of the cognitive issues and rage that comes with the medication, I already have issues with anxiety and depression. I base 90% of my self-worth on my intelligence and my dream-career depends on it (kind of, I want to become an author, I’m learning to write rn).

I’m really worried at the flip of a coin my life can completely change for the worse. I wasn’t prepared for this I’m not prepared. (Sorry, I know im getting ahead of myself.)

Are the cognitive and emotional issues the result of the meds only or the condition as well? I just have so many questions rn.