Im thinking of ending my friendship with my (30F) BFF (30F)?

Hey everyone!

Some context: my best friend (30F) and I (30F) have been friends for almost 2 decades. We went to school together and saw eachother everyday, but after high-school we saw eachother less due to college and work BUT we always managed to talk and see eachother when we could. As of the last 2 years I can honestly say we see eachother every other week on Fridays. In terms of personality, I am the extroverted friend and she is more introverted and quiet - even with me but not as bad as if she was meeting someone new. Thats her personality and I have accepted it and still love her.

The issue: so a few weeks ago her sister got married and my BFF is in the wedding. For the past 4 years, my BFF has gone no contact with her mom. So she asked her sister if I could come to the dinner rehearsal so that way she wouldn't be alone. It also meant I would be paying for a dog sitter and hotel for two nights. Fine. So I arrive and my BFF does greet me. We head to the dinner rehearsal and meet a mutual friend there (he moved out of state years ago but we are a 3-friend group). The whole night my friend doesnt really talk to me but does talk to the mutual friend a bit. Fine...she might have a lot on her mind.

The day of the wedding I find out my BFF had breakfast with mutual friend. This was not in our group chat and I was pretty hurt. I mentioned my hurt in the chat and did receive an apology from mutual friend but not BFF. Fine...I still go to the wedding. During the entire wedding, my BFF did NOT engage me or give me a hug or anything. However, she did hug and chat with mutual friend. So at that point I am hurt and just leave that night after the wedding.

A week goes by and I call BFF and talk to her about the two incidents. Regarding the breakfast, she did take accountability and apologized and said she and mutual friend wake up early and they decided to eat breakfast. I told her it was still crummy but fine. In regards to the ignoring/not approaching me at the wedding, my BFF says the reason she hugged and hang with mutual friend is because she felt closer, comfortable and talks to mutual friend. So I say "but im your BFF...you should feel like that with me too." She says "well it feels like I dont know you and I dont feel close to you." And the reason for this is because I don't see her as much as she would like. I tell my BFF that "well this isn't high-school...we work 40 hours, im married, I have my parents I help and I have other friends I hang with too...but I am always consistent with seeing you every other week. Plus I talk when we are together and I always ask about any updates with you. If anything, you saying youre not close to me or don't know me implies all these years you haven't been paying attention to me." Essentially I end the convo saying that all these years (and even recent) i have always been there for her because I thought we were BFF's. I didn't need to see her everyday to feel that way with her.

So we get off the phone and she has sent me three messages about hanging out. Calling me her bestie and all that. But I am confused because how can we still be besties or even friends if you feel like you don't know or feel close to me. Plus I cant shake being ignored or not approached by my supposed BFF.

What would you do in this situation? Should I continue the friendship or end it? Should I send a message to my BFF?

TLDR: My best friend of almost 20 years barely spoke to me during her sister’s wedding weekend, didn’t tell me she had breakfast with our mutual friend, and acted much warmer and closer to him than to me. When I brought it up later, she apologized for the breakfast but told me she doesn’t feel close to me anymore because we don’t see each other as much as she’d like — even though I consistently see her every other week. I left the conversation feeling hurt and confused, especially because she’s now texting me like everything is fine and calling me “bestie,” despite what she said and how she acted. I’m unsure how to handle this or if we’re even on the same page about our friendship anymore.