Bad thoughts

Salam. It's me again 23m revert. I am feeling very frustrated because I am too poor and bad to get a wife. I want a girlfriend instead so I can hug her and cuddle with her. But I cannot do this because it is haram. I am fasting often including yesterday but it doesn't help because I want to have a lady love me and cuddle with me most of all things in dunya.

I am feeling very angry lately and hitting myself a lot and throwing things at work from frustration. Between deprivation of romantic and sexual bonds, I am dealing with roommate stress, lack of friends, and unrealistic workplace demands. I often want to attack these women wearing bad bad things by doing things that are haram to them. Sometimes I wish I can hit her but other times I want to do the other thing to these ladies. So I try to leave and make wudu but my boss is complaining about too many bathroom breaks. So usually I hit myself in the closet instead because that gets my frustration to go. What do I do?? How do I get a wife?