Idk what I want man.

My brain feels like it’s splitting in so many directions. I’m so confused about everything yet my heart is set in stone. Why can’t I just not think again. Just monkeys banging symbols together. Just useless thoughts i ignore. The truth is I just want connection with people. To feel close, as I’ve always felt so distant with people no matter how hard I try. No one but you has ever given me that. I’m sorry for clinging on to you hard. I don’t know how to let go. I want to crawl in a hole and hide.