Family conflict with sister-in-law – seeking advice

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for advice regarding a long-standing family conflict with my sister-in-law. Here’s a detailed summary of the situation:

Background

• My sister-in-law had just had a baby with her ex (hereafter: “ex”) and was raising the child as a single mother. One day, while she was at work, her ex put the baby in a dangerous situation (both were sleeping, and a cushion ended up covering the baby’s face, putting the baby’s life at risk). She was very upset and said she no longer wanted any contact with him.
• At that time, my husband and I were planning to move out of his mother’s house. Coincidentally, she suggested that we live together to help her. I didn’t know much about her personality, but I wanted to support her and her baby and thought it could be a chance to strengthen family bonds, so I agreed.
• My husband had concerns about her personality, but our mother convinced him it could be beneficial. I also persuaded him, and we decided to move in with her. One of the conditions I set was that everyone would take off their shoes inside, which she agreed to.
• Initially, I was eager to get along with her and her child and even enrolled in school to improve my English so I could communicate better with the family.

Issues / Sister-in-law’s Actions

1. Broken promises: She repeatedly broke agreed-upon rules, such as the shoe policy, and then deflected responsibility by blaming my husband and me, using the child as an excuse, and justifying her actions.
2. Contradictory behavior: She claimed she did not want contact with her ex, yet a few weeks after we moved in, he stayed overnight without informing us. When I asked about it, she responded, “It’s none of your business!”
3. Dishonest / insincere apology: She had called me “Lazy Bitch” (I learned this later) but initially only apologized for calling me “lazy.” Learning the truth made me feel betrayed and increased my distress.
4. Disrespect for my belongings: During a family event, her work colleague applied makeup on me while I was wearing a traditional garment, leaving visible stains. My sister-in-law noticed but did not intervene. Later, she said, “If I had done something like that, I would have taken care of it,” which was untrue. I have photo evidence of the stains. This made me feel ignored and disrespected.
5. Ruining family gatherings: When a friend of my husband’s came over, I had notified her the day before, but she pretended she didn’t know and got angry, creating tension and causing others to leave early.
6. Responsibility deflection, justification, self-centered and defensive behavior: She frequently deflected responsibility, justified her actions by citing personal struggles or cultural differences, prioritized herself and her child, and reacted defensively instead of acknowledging harm.

Impact on me

• Her actions destroyed trust and made communication extremely difficult.
• I developed severe stress, anxiety, and depression as a result, which are still being treated.
• Despite my efforts to communicate and reconcile, her partial or insincere apologies prevented any real resolution.

I also have photo evidence and medical records related to some of these incidents.

My question is: legally, is it possible to pursue action for the mental distress caused? I’m also looking for advice on setting boundaries within the family. Has anyone experienced something similar with a relative and found a constructive approach?