I just started a ridiculous NYC newsletter… any tips before I embarrass myself further?

So uh… I did a thing. I started a local NYC newsletter where I basically tell the news like a comedian who’s had one too many dollar slices.

Example: “Subway delays continue” → I translate that to “MTA rolled a natural 1 on their morning commute.”

I’m brand new to this newsletter life and I have no clue what I’m doing. If you’ve ever grown a newsletter, side project, cult following, whatever: • How do you get your first actual humans to subscribe? • What platforms don’t hate newsletters? • Any tips so I don’t burn out and start writing about pigeons fighting on rooftops?

I promise I’m not here to self-promote (mods pls don’t bonk me). Just trying to learn before I make the newsletter equivalent of dropping my pizza face-down on the sidewalk.

Thanks, internet strangers. You are wiser than me. 🗽🍕