I 23M am in a trauma bond with my girlfriend 23F.

I made a post a little bit ago and my eyes have been opened about my relationship. From outside perspectives, the relationship is a trauma bond. We’ve been together for 4ish years. What I thought were normal ups and downs of relationships, were actually the root of a trauma bond becoming.

The ups would be “love bombing” as people call it, saying she loves me, saying she wants me to be her future, giving me more gifts than I thought I’d get for birthdays, saying she doesn’t want to lose me, saying she wants to build a life with me, etc.

The downs would be her narcissistic tendencies. She’s say things like “you won’t find anyone better than me,” “no one will spoil you as much as I do,” “you are my future why would you want to leave,” things like that. When she said those things, it was because we were having arguments and/or I “threatened” to break up. I’ve felt so drained from her when these downs happen, but I can’t get myself to leave her because I still love her and know she loves me. I’m being told love isn’t enough by outside perspectives, you guys.

She has never been physically violent or say she wants to be violent, but the narcissism is not okay, right? It’s a form of abuse or no?

I’m scared to leave because again, we love each other. There was a time when I “threatened” to break up and she, like I said, said those things like how I won’t ever find someone like her. Kept trying to make me feel guilty with any sentence she said, and it worked.

I feel so stuck and I just know I’m not the only one feeling this way in a relationship and I need help. How do I proceed with this relationship?