Got closure - Kind of?

Got closure - Kind of?

FA - Ex finally agreed to meet. I held space, I kept patience until she was fully okay with the meeting over a period of a month.

We spoke for 3 hours. The meeting went well I'd say. We spoke about all the places we went wrong. I accepted my mistakes, she did too.

The problem still is the fact that she moved on while being in the relationship and she brutally discarded me 5 months ago. Showed me everything was more than fine and then suddenly one day said something flipped in her head, and she didn't want to be with me anymore. She admitted she actually cried a lot in that month and internalized the breakup and grieved it on her end without letting me know at all, And then blindsided me.

Either way - The meeting was super cordial. She fully accepted she blindsided me, but there were more damaging things I had done while I was in the relationship - Some that I had apologized for, some I never knew, some that she felt but never conveyed because she felt there was no space but either way all those negative feelings stayed with her throughout, regardless of whether we had solved those issues or not.

Her emotional bandwidth had run out so she gave up on the relationship but to me I had no idea she had reached that stage by herself. I had no way of knowing either.

She agreed to see me again in the future - But told me to process everything we spoke about now. I really wanted to reconcile especially when she said she sees the growth in me as a person.

But she also said she doesn't want to go through all of that pain and effort again, even if it was super unfair what she did.

Is there any way for me out of this??

I'm struggling quite a lot with the idea of fully letting go, especially since she did acknowledge that things maybe different but she's not able to see herself in that position again? And again the issue still stands that she blindsided me? If I knew half of the things I know now, I would've made those changes and made it work. But apparently to her there were patterns I had shown, and she thought it was difficult for me to break them so she never shared anything?