I must be the most fearful person on the planet

Like seriously, every thing I do, my body has fight or flight. A shower, walking to the mailbox, eating food, drinking water, being around people, being alone, driving a car, making a phone call, taking a pill, watching a movie, exercising, etc. Every single one of these and I am sweating and shaking the whole time. Just existing? I’m panicking.

I understand how I got here. Avoidance. I still do every single one of those things listed above and more… but I am never enjoying it. And I am always exhausted after any of it because my body has been flooded with cortisol and adrenaline the entire time. And there’s a lot I simply cannot do and I hate it.

I probably need to work harder on response prevention. I’m discouraged. And tired. I’m tired of everything feeling so overwhelming and triggering.

Just needed to vent. I have had agoraphobia with panic disorder for 25 years, OCD for 32. I’m still not fully recovered. Not sure I ever will be. Happy to answer any questions if someone is somehow curious about me and my strange brain.