I don’t know how to rebuild after this.

I (28F) don’t even know how to explain the emotional mess I’m in. My situationship/relationship with this guy (27M) has left me shattered in a way I’ve never felt before.

We started casually. No expectations, no labels. But feelings grew naturally. We got close, shared our lives, and it started feeling like love even though neither of us said it out loud.

Then, around 3 months in, he suddenly told me he couldn’t continue because he needs to marry someone his parents choose. I was shocked, but I respected his decision and let him go. I went through deep emotional turmoil during that time.

A month later, he came back. He said he couldn’t move on. That he still loved me. That he had tried but couldn’t forget me. He told me he wanted to marry me, that he couldn’t imagine marrying someone else, that he wanted kids with me someday.

And I believed him. Because I loved him and I thought he meant it.

So I let my guard down and we tried again.

We lasted 2.5 more months. And then he left again.

His reasons?

One day I didn’t pick up his calls or reply immediately because I had accidentally consumed an edible. And because months ago, during a tiny fight, I had blocked him for literally 5 minutes.

He said these things “disrespected” him and that once he decides something, he never looks back or regrets it. I begged and pleaded… I’m not proud of it. But I was confused, hurt, blindsided. I wanted to understand.

He stayed cold. Repeated that he’s firm on his decisions. Didn’t care to listen. Just walked away.

Meanwhile, I’m left dealing with the wreckage.

My mental health collapsed. I’m on medication now, have therapy, and I’m going to a medical facility for a short inpatient program. I had to leave my job, leave the city I built my life in, leave my gym and my routine. I couldn’t stay alone anymore, so I’m back home with my parents.

He gets to walk away with a “firm decision.” I’m left struggling to even function.

I’m not writing this to ask how to get him back. I don’t want the same pain again. I just want to understand how people survive being pulled in with promises of marriage and a future, only to be pushed away twice and blamed for tiny mistakes.

How do you rebuild after someone shatters you two times? How do you stop feeling like you weren’t enough? How do you find yourself again?

And the part I hate admitting…

Are there chances he’ll come back again? Because I’m terrified that if he does, I won’t be strong enough to shut the door… or maybe I SHOULD be preparing myself to shut it for good.

Anyone who’s been through something like this ? how did you heal?